A Gift

I volunteer with a group called Share. They are a support group for parents who have had a miscarriage, stillborn or infant loss. I became involved with them after Lucas died. At first I went to their support meetings. They helped me so much to feel connected to people who have been through the same type of loss. Later, I started to volunteer. On Saturday before Easter, we got a phone call that a baby had died and they needed hand and foot molds. So me and a couple of other ladies went. I have only done this one other time. He was 5 lbs. and 38 weeks when he died. His name was Aiden. I feel so honored to be able to do this for the parents.

When I had Lucas I was so drugged up and in a fog. I think I still have trouble distinguishing reality from fantasy. So being able to go take hand and foot molds from these babies is so healing for me. It is time I get to spend holding and loving these babies in honor of my son. Logically, you might think it would make my grief worse, but somehow it doesn't. Every time I get to volunteer for something with Share, I feel like I am spending time with Lucas. It is my way of getting in the missed birthdays, firsts, times at the park, etc.

I want to thank the parents of these babies for trusting us to do the molds for them. It is a great honor to be with these babies because the veil is so thin. It renews my faith in the afterlife and helps get me through the drudgery of this world.